I have been thinking the last few days about some things. I have a hard time being confident with any of my abilities. As I was cleaning my house today, I came to the realization that I have been blessed with different talents and I should be more confident with them. I have lived most of my life with the little voice in my head telling me why my abilities are insignificant, and why someone else has better talents. I'm so sick of putting myself down! And really, what good does it do? With Cletus (the fetus) coming along, I have decided that I no longer want to live like this. I don't want Cletus to know its mother second guessing herself. And I really don't want to pass this mentality to Cletus.
Have you ever noticed that the people who are confident (not cocky) always seem to draw people to them? They are so comfortable with themselves, that it makes others feel comfortable. And after being around these people, you somehow feel better about yourself too. Since these people are confident in themselves, they point out the positive about others. They lift you up, rather than put you down.
My question is how do you become confident and sure about yourself, without being cocky?
P.S. An update with Cletus, I'm 16 weeks along. My energy is back, and I'm feeling great! We went to the doctor yesterday and everything is good. It took a little while to find the heart beat, which was the longest minute of my life!!! We just feel so blessed with this opportunity to be pregnant!! We find out what we're having on January 15th....and I can't wait!!
I'm so freakin excited to announce that we're PREGNANT!!!! YAY!!!
I found out on Sept. 28th. I took a pregnancy test in the morning and it automatically came back positive! I just looked at it for a moment, shocked and not knowing what to do. I set it down for 2 mins and came back (thinking that the positive was a fluke) but it wasn't. Bryce was on his way to California, so I called him to tell him our happy news! He was so excited!!!! We decided that we would only tell our parents for a while. And both parents were, of coarse, excited!
At six weeks we had our first ultra sound, where we heard the heart beat. It was a really neat experience, since the doctor said the heart had only been beating for a day maybe two. And of coarse, I started to cry when I heard the heart beat. I was crazy emotional!!! I was just so happy, since it seemed so long to get us to this stage. And hearing the heart made it real.
At eight weeks we had another ultra sound, just to make sure everything was going good. And it looks like everything is good and growing fast!!! It's amazing to see how much our little tiny baby has grown in two weeks!
I'm nine weeks along, and everything is going well. I've been pretty sick to my stomach all day, everyday! But I'm so HAPPY to be sick!! It means I'm pregnant!!!! My testimony has grown so much in the last 5 weeks. I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father, that he knows me!! He knows that I needed time to really, desperately want to have a baby so that I would appreciate this opportunity to be sick. I know that sounds weird, but I'm so happy that I don't feel good!!! I just pray that we will have a strong, healthy and happy baby.
P.S. Bryce has come up with a nickname that the baby will be referred to. It's Cletus the Fetus. He's so funny, he gives everything a nickname and their all weird!! It makes me laugh!!
It is our favorite time of the year here at our house! Which means it's time for our annual Halloween costume party! We're not sending out invites, because everyone is invited, including your little ones! We have a trophy for best costume, so get creative!! Let us know if you want to come and we'll send you directions to our house.
I washed my sheets and towels today and when I took them out of the dryer I wanted to cry (happy tears). They smelled like my Grandma Murdocks house. It was such a comfort! It was like I was on a laundry commercial, I couldn't stop smelling my towels! I called my Grandma and told her how much I love her!!! Then the tears really started to flow!!! My grandparents are both such GREAT examples to me. My Grandma is my hero! She is everything I hope to be as a mother, wife, church member and person in general. She is so kind, caring, nurturing and a good cook! :) I can't even imagine being a new mother and having my husband shipped off to war!!! She has had to make so many sacrifices, and I'm sure she did them without complaining! I hope that I can strive to be like her! I Love You Grandma!!!!
I thought I should update our blog on how our doctors appointment went. We have waited for that doctors appointment for over a month and we were really hoping he would just give us some pills and that would be that. Since I had just started my period he told us that I would have to wait until mid July to go and get my blood tested to see whether or not I'm ovulating and then we'll go from there. Bryce and I were so upset because we feel like since I made the appointment so far in advance that they could have just asked some simple questions (date of last period) and I could have gotten my blood taken before I spoke to the doctor. My good friend Jen told me "what's one more month to wait." That really helped me put it into perspective, we've already waited for what feels like forever, what's another month.
Also, I just want to thank everyone for being concerned for us. Thank you for your prayers in our behalf and for your continued love and support. Bryce and I love all of you and we're so grateful for such awesome family and friends in our lives!!!
I know that for the most part people write about being happy and having such a wonderful life. And for the most part it really is a happy and wonderful life, but lately Bryce and I have been struggling. We have been off birth control for 2 years and have been really trying for the last 7 months to get pregnant. And nothing has happened!!! I realize that we haven't been waiting that long but, every month is such an emotional roller coaster!!! We want a baby so BAD!!! It's like I have a hole in my heart that can't be filled with anything else. People keep telling us, just don't think about it so much and it will happen. It makes me so MAD when people tell us this because obviously these people have never really struggled in this area. How can I not think about it??? Starting our family is constantly on our minds!!!! We feel like we have established ourselves and have really built a home for a family. We just need a freaking baby!!! We see people around us having babies and we're so so so so HAPPY for them!!!! But, some days I have to put on smile and hold back the tears. We've looked into adoption, but we didn't feel like it was the right time. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan, and that it will happen when it's right. I just wish it would happen sooner than later!!
We've got an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to talk to him about our options of getting on the medicine Clomid (I hope that's how you spell it). I know that that medicine has worked for a lot of people and we're hoping that it will work for us and SOON!!!
Bryce and I have been home for a week, so I'm sorry that this has taken me so long to update.
We had so much fun!!!! It really was a trip of a lifetime for us. There is just so much to say, I don't know quite where to start. We flew all day and night to get to Rome so we were supper tired when we finally were able to go to sleep. The boat sailed to Sicily, Italy but Bryce and I slept through the whole day! We didn't get up until 3:30pm, so we just saw a little bit of Sicily. The next day we went to Athens. WOW!!! Way different than I thought it was going to be. It is such a big metropolitan city! We were able to see the Parthenon and many other historical sites. We then went to Mykonos, Greece. It was so beautiful there!!! It is just like you picture Greece looking. White buildings and beautiful blue water. I loved it!!! Then we went to Kusadasi, Turkey where we learned about Turkish carpets for about 2 hours. It was way more than I ever really wanted to know about carpets. :) Rhodes, Greece was interesting. We went to a part called Old Town, and it was surrounded by giant stone walls. And Santorini, Greece I explain by the pictures. Then our last stop was Naples, Italy. It was so GHETTO!!! People say it is the Mexico of Italy. We took an hour long train ride to a town call Sorento and it was fun!! However, while we were on the train we learned alot about Italians. They have no regard for personal hygiene and they don't have ANY personal space!! We had so much fun!!! But it is nice to be back home too!!
Bryce goofing off @ the Parthenon
The town of Santorini, Greece was freakin AMAZING!!! It was a whole city built upon a mountain. To get up to the city you had to walk or ride a donkey up the path. (You can kinda see the path in between us in this picture.) I was terrified of riding the donkeys so we walked. Holy Cow!!! It was a work out!! When we finally got to the top, a guy that worked in shop up there asked Bryce "why are you so sweaty? You sweat to much!" Bryce was like "yeah, it's called genetics." LOL!!! Anyway, it was so beautiful!! The water was so blue! I have some really cool pictures of the town, but I can't get them off of my computer right now so I'll post them later.
Our boat just anchored and you had to take another little boat to get to the dock in Santorini. This is just a picture of us with Santorini in the background.
Rhodes, Greece.
Tomorrow we're out of here! We're so busy trying to get ready to leave. I'm so nervous to go just because I don't know what exactly to expect. This is a vacation that Bryce and I have wanted to take for several years, and now that we are finally able to go, it just seems so unreal. We're so excited!!! We'll be sure to take lots of pictures so share with everyone. :) YAY!!!
We have one month until we go on our trip to Italy, Greece and Turkey. We're so excited!!! We figured we better hurry and take a trip of a lifetime before we have kids.
Bryce put another cd together and asked if I would take the pictures for the cover. Of coarse I said yes. I would love to really become a photographer one day, so I jump on the chance for any practice I can get. Here a few that I took.
